Talk With My Kids

Questions to Ask Your Child

The right question at the right moment can open a door that lectures never will. These prompts help you connect with your child as an individual — not just check on homework, behavior, or schedules.

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Here are questions you can ask tonight

Ask one open question about their day, feelings, or inner world. Keep it casual, listen without fixing, and follow up on what they mention later.

Questions to try

Everyday Connection

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    “What was the best part of your day that I might not know about?”

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    “Did anything surprise you today?”

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    “What made you laugh today?”

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    “What was harder than you expected?”

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    “What are you looking forward to this week?”

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    “What do you wish we had more time for today?”

Feelings And Inner Life

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    “What feeling showed up the most today?”

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    “Did anything feel unfair or frustrating?”

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    “What do you need more of right now — rest, fun, or hugs?”

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    “Do you want ideas, comfort, or just someone to listen?”

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    “What do you wish I asked you more often?”

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    “Is there anything you've been thinking about that you haven't said out loud?”

Identity And Growth

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    “What made you feel proud today?”

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    “When did you feel brave today?”

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    “What are you getting better at?”

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    “What would make this week feel easier?”

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    “What do you wish adults understood better about your world?”

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    “What made you feel most like yourself today?”

Bedtime And Wind-Down

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    “What do you want to remember from today?”

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    “Is there anything you want to let go of before sleep?”

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    “What felt good today?”

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    “What are you grateful for right now?”

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    “Is there anything you want to talk about before tomorrow?”

Age-specific variations

Preschoolers (3–5)

  • What made you laugh today?
  • Who made you feel loved?
  • Did anything feel too loud or too hard?

Elementary (6–10)

  • What was the best part of your day I might not know about?
  • Did anything feel unfair?
  • Who was kind to you today?

Tweens (11–13)

  • What's been on your mind lately?
  • What's something at school I wouldn't guess?
  • What would make this week easier?

Teens (14–18)

  • What's been weighing on you?
  • How can I support you without taking over?
  • What do you wish I listened to more?

Moment-specific variations

Bedtime

  • What do you want to remember from today?
  • Is there anything you want to let go of before sleep?

Car rides

  • Tell me something random about your day.
  • What's something you're excited about this week?

After school

  • What do you need right now — food, quiet, or company?
  • Want to tell me about your day, or save it for later?

Dinner

  • Rose, thorn, bud — best part, hardest part, something you're looking forward to.

What to avoid saying

  • "How was school?" when you want more than a one-word answer
  • Rapid-fire questions that feel like an interview
  • Correcting or teaching in the middle of a vulnerable answer
  • Asking when you're distracted or half-listening
  • Turning every answer into a lesson or lecture

How to use these questions

  1. 1Pick one or two questions — not a whole list.
  2. 2Read them before you sit down together.
  3. 3Put your phone away and ask with genuine curiosity.
  4. 4Follow what your child says instead of rushing to the next question.
  5. 5Save what worked so you can ask again later.

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Frequently asked questions

One or two is usually enough. A short, warm conversation beats a long interview.

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